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Hello. Come on in. The daddy writes about current events, literature, music and, once in a while, drops something on you from back in the day to make you pause and ponder, stop and stare, and begin to wonder. Who knows? You may start to pace the floor, shake your head from side to side, then fall down on bended knees in a praying position and cry, "Lawd, have mercy! What is this world coming to?" Check yourself! But this blog is NOT about the daddy. It's about you: your boos, your fam, your hood, your country...our hopes and dreams of a better tomorrow. So let's make a pact: the daddy will put it on the track if you'll chase it down and hit him back. Together, we can definitely take it to another level. Shall we?"

Monday, October 12, 2009

DEALING WITH AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

Listen up. The Daddy just got off the phone with a friend who is dealing with an abusive husband. Besides talking with her about the abuse, The Daddy emailed her info about domestic violence. This article by Helpline.org was the first one. It covers the following concerns: Because this is domestic violence month, The Daddy suggests that you use the article below to learn more about this complex issue. For those of you who are aware of domestic violence, especially spousal abuse, use this article as The Daddy did to brush up on the issue. The Daddy will post other pieces later. Meanwhile, check this piece out.

Signs of an abusive relationship
Domestic Violence and Abuse: Types, Signs, Symptoms, Causes, and Effects

Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone, yet the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied. This is especially true when the abuse is psychological, rather than physical. Emotional abuse is often minimized, yet it can leave deep and lasting scars.

Noticing and acknowledging the warning signs and symptoms of domestic violence and abuse is the first step to ending it. No one should live in fear of the person they love. If you recognize yourself or someone you know in the following warning signs and descriptions of abuse, don’t hesitate to reach out. There is help available.

Understanding domestic violence and abuse

Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence.

Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under their thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you.

Domestic violence and abuse do not discriminate. It happens among heterosexual couples and in same-sex partnerships. It occurs within all age ranges, ethnic backgrounds, and financial levels. And while women are more commonly victimized, men are also abused—especially verbally and emotionally.

Recognizing abuse is the first step to getting help

Domestic abuse often escalates from threats and verbal abuse to physical violence and even murder. And while physical injury may be the most obvious danger, the emotional and psychological consequences of domestic abuse are also severe. No one deserves this kind of pain—and your first step to breaking free is recognizing that your situation is abusive. Once you acknowledge the reality of the abusive situation, then you can get the help you need.

You don’t have to live in fear

If you are afraid for your safety or have been beaten by your partner:

To read the other parts in the article, click here:

4 comments:

Somebodies Friend said...

Great information MacDaddy!

I know first hand what it feels like to be abused. I found myself in more than one relationship where the gal I was living with suddenly turned on me. The cycle is hard to break because they seem to know just when youy are ready to pack it up and move out. Then they turn all nice and act very loving. Then bam, right when you're feeling confortable again there is another episode to throw the whole situation into craziness once again.

The first time this happened to me I was living with my daughter and her mother. Her mother used the leverage of me caring about my daughter and not wanting to leave because of that to really make my life a living hell.

I won't even go into how I finally got out of the relationship. Just say it was very ugly.

I refuse to put up with any of this type of nonsense from anybody today. I respect myself way too much to supject myself to this kind of abuse.

I feel sorry for those that get stuck in the cycle of abuse and can't get out, or don't think there is any way to get out of the situation.

MacDaddy said...

Somebody: Your experience brings up something not people realize: men get abused in spousal issues too. As a Violence Prevention Coordinator, and later as the President of my own business, I worked with many men who had been or were being abused.

Some were regular labors doing temp work. Several were athletes, football and basketball players.

I know the record says most abuse is done by men. But I also feel some types of abuse is counted as more prevalent than others. The physical abuse by men is counted more and should be. No man should be hitting on a woman. But what I noticed in the abuse relationships with women was that women had greater verbal facility and could talk rings men. When not curing them out and calling them names, they could simply talk the loudest, saying terrible things about the man.

Men who counsel men need to keep this in mind and provide greater verbal skills-- not to compete with their partner but to help cool things down so they can really have a rational conversation.

Otherwise, it's like just another Jerry Spring episode.

Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. said...

You have provided an excellent resource on domestic violence and presented it in a very succinct fashion. Thank you. As a domestic violence survivor and psychologist advocate, I find that when people recognize the underlying dynamics and characteristics defining partner abuse, they heal and avoid involvement in subsequent abusive relationships. For additional resources on domestic violence dynamics and healing, visit us at http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/ebooks.php Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

MacDaddy said...

Dr. King: Thanks for visiting daddyBstrong. I'm sorry to say I tried to check out your blog but it didn't come up. But I'll keep trying.
Blessings.