TALK TO THE DADDY

Hello. Come on in. The daddy writes about current events, literature, music and, once in a while, drops something on you from back in the day to make you pause and ponder, stop and stare, and begin to wonder. Who knows? You may start to pace the floor, shake your head from side to side, then fall down on bended knees in a praying position and cry, "Lawd, have mercy! What is this world coming to?" Check yourself! But this blog is NOT about the daddy. It's about you: your boos, your fam, your hood, your country...our hopes and dreams of a better tomorrow. So let's make a pact: the daddy will put it on the track if you'll chase it down and hit him back. Together, we can definitely take it to another level. Shall we?"

Monday, June 16, 2008

How Do You Say Thanks to a Lady That Ain't Your Lady?

"Shiatsu is a Japanese word that means “finger pressure.” The goal of Shiatsu is to restore the balance of energy in the body. Proponents of Shiatsu and acupuncture believe that disease and physical infirmities are caused by imbalances or blockages in the flow of energy through the body. This energy is called “ki” which flows through the body along meridians or energy channels. Practitioners strive for a balance between Yin (negative energy) and Yang (positive energy) and attempt to determine where there may be a build up of energy or an energy deficiency. Either will cause problems."
--The Massage Schools Guide

She squeezes gently then moves both hands up and down in long, slow strokes. She pushes and pulls on his muscles. Afterwards, he didn’t want to take a confident smoke. He wanted to find a better way to say thank you.

Her name is Leslie. She’s a certified OBT (Oriental Bodywork Therapist). She specializes in Shiatsu but knows so much more. She’s put in a lot of hours, taking a lot of classes and working in the field to bring thousands of years of medicine and wisdom from the East to the West. And the daddy is only one of many beneficiaries of her practice and most noble profession.

But he wasn’t always so appreciative. Why? First, he’s sexist. Oh, he feigns progressivism. He talks about appreciating people from all cultures, all genders, all sexual preferences. Oh, he talks about equality between the sexes. Now, he hasn’t gone as far as to say that, when he sees a woman, he doesn’t see gender, but he’s come close.

But suddenly, a woman is towering over him; a woman is dropping knowledge about subjects of which he hasn’t a clue; a woman is in charge, in control. And the daddy, former Black Muslim, former big athlete, former tough counselor of violent gangbangers, violent male perpetrators (abusers of women), and hardcore drug addicts, doesn’t know how to handle it.

Second, having been raised in violent inner-city projects, the daddy knows about violent cultures but not about peaceful ones. So, during the first treatment, he is not thinking, “Shut it down, bro, and relax” but “I’m starting to feel weak…some thug might break into the room, pistol-whip me against this massage table, take my money, and rape this kind woman who knows nothing about thugs and… and, speaking of pistols, where the fuck is my piece?”

After the treatment, Leslie told him to lie down and rest a while, but he dressed quickly and left. He didn’t like feeling weak, feeling—dare we say it? – vulnerable, feeling too weak to protect himself. So he went home. And guess what happened? He slept like a baby for 10 hours. And when he awoke? Let's just say that he didn’t feel like you do after a night of drinking 40 ounce beers-- sluggish, tired and forgetful. No, the daddy felt refreshed, clear-headed and energized.

Now, after many treatments, he must concede that he kind of likes this Shiatsu treatment and this relaxation thing. Plus, a friend of Leslie assured him that he can take Shiatsu and still be quite the “man.”

Now, the daddy tries to thank Leslie, this wise woman who drops knowledge from the East. He’s brought her apricots, her favorite fruit, and weird food from food co-ops like mushroom soup. He’s asked the brothas at the coffee shop what he should do to thank her, but that was a failure. Being from inner-city projects like him, they weren’t very helpful. One said buy her some weed. Another said she is too trusting. Therefore, buy her a gun so she can protect herself. Like the daddy, some of these guys have yet to completely leave the projects.

That's why the daddy wants to ask you: how do you say thanks to a lady who ain’t your lady, who ain’t your fam, who eats mushroom soup?

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Daddy, do what you do best. . . not that. . . write it down. . . put it into a poem.

Sounds great. Maybe I ought to look into it.
--sagacious

June 14, 2008 10:31 PM

Anonymous said...

I've gotten it for 10 years. Don't know what I'd do without it.

Anonymous said...

I am a great believer in BODY, MIND and SPIRIT coordinating together to make us the whole persons we are meant to be....We live in a DRIVEN American culture...DO, DO,DO....We have so much to learn from the East....I am not a pro, and I do not have a certificate, but I have been practicing massage for about 8 years now...I do it for women in the Hood, many of whom could not otherwise afford it, and many of whom have experienced violence and abuse....I have had wonderful success....My clients say THANK YOU when they leave here with a peaceful spirit....How do YOU say Thank You, MacDaddy...I like the idea someone gave you of writing a poem.....Hurray for the HEALING ARTS!
--nuninthehood

MacDaddy said...

sagacious: Write a poem? I like it.Thanks.
anon: Many people tell me that they need some form of massage and acupuncture to help them with the stress that comes with living in the U.S.
nun: I really appreciate your comments about shiatsu, seeing as how you practice the art of healing. I hope I did some justice to the art that both you and Leslie practice. Blessings.

SagaciousHillbilly said...

Thoreau said he had three words of advice for humanity: "Simplify, simplify, simplify."

I continually strive to accomplish that, but sometimes, things get MORE complicated and other times things get simpler. The less stress I feel the simpler life becomes. Gotta find me wunna them shiatsu ladies.

sdg1844 said...

Daddy - I am so glad that you understand the difference between healing and weakness. She is a Healer and they are to be respected. letting go and allowing healing to occur is NOT weakness. :-)

I think the idea of a poem is a great idea. I also think it would be great to get her a basket of healthy food from a place like Whole Foods.

-Danielle

MacDaddy said...

Danielle: You speak truth: letting to is NOT weakness. And I love your suggestions.

Anonymous said...

hmm love a good massage! Believe a 15-20% tip is appropriate

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

Hey there MacDaddy!

If you want this lady to one day BE your lady, then the "thank you" needs to have an additional purpose of trying to impress...however...it's important to know HOW a woman wants to be thanked...all women are not the same (as you know)...the mushroom soup was a nice touch...

You may have to investigate a bit more about her culture to know which TYPES of overtures would be well-received...does she like special candles for relaxation...what about exquisite teas...is there an author that she respects and likes to read...?

Massage therapy is very important but the atmosphere is just as important...you have to continue to maintain tranquility in your own home environment to reap the full benefits...for example, my home is primarily silent and still...no tv, no radio, and I listen to music only in the car and OCCASSIONALLY in the house. Stillness and silence is not often valued in our culture that emphasizes sight and sound stimulation.

Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!
Lisa

MacDaddy said...

Lisa: You are wise. Thank you.