Hello. Come on in. The daddy writes about current events, literature, music and, once in a while, drops something on you from back in the day to make you pause and ponder, stop and stare, and begin to wonder. Who knows? You may start to pace the floor, shake your head from side to side, then fall down on bended knees in a praying position and cry, "Lawd, have mercy! What is this world coming to?" Check yourself! But this blog is NOT about the daddy. It's about you: your boos, your fam, your hood, your country...our hopes and dreams of a better tomorrow. So let's make a pact: the daddy will put it on the track if you'll chase it down and hit him back. Together, we can definitely take it to another level. Shall we?"

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Michael Jackson: The Daddy's Final Thoughts

"I was a veteran, before I was a teenager."
--Michael Jackson

Listen up. Before Michael Jackson is laid to rest, before the casket is closed and let down into a six-foot hole, The Daddy wants to say a few things about parenting and say goodbye.

Much has been said about how cute Michael was as a child; but how, as a young adult, he seemed to regress into little more than a child, reveling in playing with kids in early adolescence, petting giraffes and snakes; how he sliced his nose and other parts of his face and whitened up his body out of self-hatred. But little, or not enough, has been said of the parenting he received that made him feel even more inferior than white society conditions African Americans to feel in the first place-- parenting that made him feel his nose was too big, his skin too black, his temperament too soft (You know: Boys gotta grow up to be tough!), too sensitive.

The Daddy is thinking that, when it comes to parenting, most parents know the drill: make children feel safe, loved, and special. This is part of the process of being a parent. But mock children, call them negative names and you'll destroy their confidence and make them feel too insecure, too vulnerable to interact positively with their own peers and mature.

This is what the Jackson parents did to Michael. They made him feel ugly and stupid as they honed and parlayed his amazing singing and dancing talent as the lead Jackson Five into a fat paycheck.They may have intended to parent with tough love: to make him a solid, professional performer. Father Joe Jackson may have intended to "toughen him up" and make him a man. Well, they may helped him to become the consumate performer, but they also set him up to become and remain a permanent child, a state where he is loved by children and teenagers but ridiculed by many adults, including the media, that is, until they saw in his death an opportunity to exploit him again to increase tv ratings.

The Daddy's heart is saddened by Michael's death. But more than that, he is chilled that his parents could insult his intelligence by entertaining the illusion that they were good parents to Michael and now seek to parent Michael's children.
Diana Ross, take the children please.

Dear Michael: The Daddy knows that, by now, you're sick of a hypocritical corporate media's exploitation of your death, but you'll be safe and protected in your new home soon. There, neither the media or your father will be able to hurt you again.


Somebodies Friend said...

That is just plain wrong, Jacksons parents trying to get custody of those children. Those two shouldn't be allowed around childred after what they did to theirs.

And yes, Michael, you will feel safe in your new home, soon!

Akannie said...

Sadly, daddy, you've hit the nail on the head. The horror stories of his childhood marked him forever.
He was an amazingly talented man, and this world will be a sadder place without him.
Godspeed, Michael. You will be missed.

Nun in the Hodd said...

Hi, MacDaddy,
I have so many mixed emotions about Michael Jackson's passing.....Granted, the media has done a number on his funeral, legal stuff, etc., but also it came through loud and clear that this man was a genius musically....Also, he had a huge heart......An interesting thing to me is that his other siblings do not seem to have been emotionally wounded to the extent that Michael was.....In my own family, there was something similar...Two kids can have the exact same experience, but each reacts differently....In my thinking, only God knows the pain Michael went through because of the way he was treated....and I BELIEVE that he is in the arms of that loving Father at THIS VERY MOMENT....Personally, I believe that his legacy is larger than the hype around it...That's what I am going to remember.

msladydeborah said...


I don't think that Katherine was the one who did the major damage. Do you think that Michael would of left his babies with her if that was the case? I think it is obvious which one of the two of the elder Jacksons he felt did a lot of damage to him.

I just hope and pray that the three children are blessed to be in the midst of people who love them and care for them. That is going to be so important-especially since they don't have their daddy here to do that.

MacDaddy said...

Somebody: "That is just plain wrong, Jacksons parents trying to get custody of those children. Those two shouldn't be allowed around childred after what they did to theirs."

Nun: Yes, two or more kids can go through the same experience and come out differently. But I'm wondering if the Jackson's parents weren't harder on him precisely because he was the most talented and was the key to them getting a big paycheck. Thanks.

"I just hope and pray that the three children are blessed to be in the midst of people who love them and care for them."
Msladydeborah: I agree. I wishing all three kids the best. I hope they stay in touch with Diana Ross. They all seem to love her; and she was very helpful to Michael.

rainywalker said...

Listening to Michael Jackson a while back he believed he was Peter Pan. Nothing wrong with that I sometimes digress and go to Neverland. May his days now be filled with sunshine forever.

nicki nicki tembo said...

The door is open for him...

CareyCarey said...

I have mixed emotions about this one. Parenting is not a reflex action. For the most part, if you show me a poor parent, I'll show you a person that wasn't taught how to be a parent. I would bet that Joe Jackson didn't come from a "clean" environment. Somewhere in this mix we have to thank Michael's parents for bring him to us. I know money is not the issue (shouldn't be) but Ol'Joe made a lot of people rich. Was he the worst parent on the earth ...absolutely not? Did he possibly lose his way trying to raise a large family and dealing with the pressures dealing with fame and fortune ...possibly! Did Joe have a vision beyound anything he or anyone else could have imagined ...I doubt it. Joe, in some ways is just another victim of money and what it can do to the soul. Lets pray for Joe Jackson, I don't think he knew what he was doing. Just like the person that takes their first drink of alcohol or the first hit on a pipe, they have no idea where they are about to go until they try to get out. If that's not true, it's doubtful we would have millions of addicted individuals. Joe Jackson is no different.

Vigilante said...

Thanks, Daddy. You've not only brought Michael Jackson into clearer and definitive focus for me, you've also gotten me to reflect on my own childhood. A good essay.

MacDaddy said...

"Joe, in some ways is just another victim of money and what it can do to the soul. Lets pray for Joe Jackson, I don't think he knew what he was doing."
Carey, thanks for your perspective. And that statement was profound. As Msladydeborah, suggested, Michael's mother loved Michael and tried her best. But she took a backseat to Joe, who had his way with Michael. And I agree: as a parent, I don't believe he knew what he was doing...I think he was more concerned with honing the talents of Michael than helping him to develop into a man and a balanced human being. Blessings.

Corey said...

MacDaddy! Quick, poignant and TRUTHFUL! Thanks for telling the truth!

I do agree with someone else about Katherine not being the one who inflicted the harm (and this is not a dig at her) but they were a COUPLE, and if her part was not implicit, it was COMPLICIT! I have nothing but respect for her, but she waited to late to seperate from Joe Jackson.

Joe Jackson? What a snake! Did you see him on the red carpet at the BET awards? You know, you recently did a piece on the old-school black men in the communities that we grew up in, and hanging around in the streets where I shouldn't have been, I picked up a few smarts. I can smell the funk of pimp, con, and the streets WAY BEFORE you approach me. Joe Jackson REEKED! No amount of money CHANGED HIM. In fact, it only got worse, and his greed still hasn't left him.

MacDaddy said...

Carey: You speak truth. Even as kids, we were able to discern the crazy ole men, who were harmless, from the cons, thugs and pimps, who would take from us or anyone else in the community for a little chump change.

Having grown up in a musical family, I think I have some understanding of the dilemma of being an adult family head and the head trainer and promoter of a family band. But others have done this while being careful to keep their kids heads on straight and letting them be kids. The example that comes to mind right now are the Williams sisters. They came out of Compton, which is about as bad as it gets in terms of bad neighborhoods. The parents of Serena and Venus trained them hard too, but they also let them have fun and be kids. Now, they are professional and well-rounded young ladies, as far as I know.

Raising and training your kids can be done without emotional and physical abuse. Thanks, brotha.

MacDaddy said...

Lamar Perez: Thanks for signing on to be a follower of daddyBstrong. Hurry back. And feel free to make a comment. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Is'nt that sweet,once again the
leftwing lunatic fringe make excuses rather then a child molester taking responsibility for their
actions.Would either of you allowed
your kids to spend the night at Neverland Ranch with this crackpot
drinking "jesus juice?" I hope that wierd POS rots in hell.

J.Marie said...

Dear DaddyBStrong, what Joe and Katherine Jackson did with raising their family is no more than Joe and Rose Kennedy did with raising theirs. Why when Blacks become successful, there is always speculation as to how and why?Michael Jackson created his own image, and he was so good at it, he blew them all away by his untimely death, now that was a class act!

MacDaddy said...

Anonymous: Welcome. You seem to be good at calling people names. Let's see: The people commenting about Jackson are the

"left wing lunatic fringe."

Of course Michael Jackson is just a

"child molester" and "crackpot."

Truthfully, I thought you would be more creative with your name calling of Michael.

But if everyone else are left wing lunatics and crackpots, what are you...

"The Village idiot?"

Lesson: Sometimes it's important to try to understand human frailties, and not just label them. For example, why some people have no empathy for human beings. Just a thought. Blessings.

Anonymous said...


The previous Anonymous is a liar and a fraud. He is impersonating me and misrepresenting my views. Additionally, I know for a fact that he is a closet child molester himself. I'm surprised you let him in here.

Anonymous said...

Poor Michael,poor Michael...
so misunderstood,so confused,so talented and so friggin strange.Started out a black man and died a white woman.You cant make custard out of mustard,he was a pervert...nothing more,nothing
less.Peter King had that fool pegged.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous, if you don't stop impersonating me and misrepresenting my views, I'll disclose everything I know about you. How you just got out of prison where you were everyone's punk, and how you, even now, can only speak in a soprano's voice.

Anonymous said...

I agree. MJ's parents shouldn't be anywhere near those kids, and I'm still horrified over Joe Jackson using the red carpet to pimp his own wares when he was asked about his feelings about MJ's passing.

SagaciousHillbilly said...

Yes, MJ is a life of tragedy. I've always believed that we reap what we sow. There are no naturally bad children or naturally messed up children. Parents do the work.
I've also always said that it's not whether or not you're going to f-up your kids, but how bad you're going to f-up your kids.

My deal with myself and those I help is: OK, your parents f'd you up. Welcome to the real world.
Now do something about it because they aint gonna come along now and unmess you up.

Thanks for that insightful post Mac.

MacDaddy said...

HBFG: Welcome. Thanks for becoming a follower of daddyBstrong. Keep coming back and, if you feel like it, make a comment or two. Blessings.

Robster: You're right. On two different ocassions, I saw him pimping some new Michael Jackson album that's coming out. The first time was the BET musical awards, I believe it was...So, even in MJ's death, he's still trying to exploit him. It makes you wonder if he ever view MJ as much more than a lucrative paycheck.

Sagacious: You're wise. We all "f'k" up parenting. As a guy who worked a long time with kids, including gangbangers, I saw up close what poor parenting, or no parenting, did to some really sweet kids. I saw how it turned some into drug dealers and shooters. But there are some basic things we should do: provide a safe environment, provide food, clothing, and shelter; make kids feel safe and loved. This gives them the confidence to face the world outside.

Michael's father didn't do this. He abused his kids. Instead of hiding this, we should talk about it and say, "Being a parent gives you no right to physically abuse kids. Being a parent gives you no right to deny your son or daughter a childhood, even if they do make you and your family a lot of money. That's a form of abuse itself."

By talking about it, hopefully people will learn how not to "f'k" up their kids so much.

1139 said...

MJs parents are separated.
They do not live together and have not in years.
Think about it ... Michal would not have given those children to his father, and he didn't.

judy said...

Well said, Daddy.

1139 said...

"she waited to late to seperate from Joe Jackson"

It was a different world - and you speak as an outsider.

Christopher said...

I am a HUGE fan of Michael Jackson's music.

Years ago, when I was growing up in the San Francisco Bay Area, we had the best AM radio station, KDIA "Lucky 13," out of Oakland. They played the best Motown, soul and R&B music.

There I was, this young, Italian boy, never without my AM radio. I used to take that damned thing to bed with me at night and I would fall to sleep with KDIA "Lucky 13" in my ear.

Anyway, that is where I first heard the Jackson Five. I don't remember them on Ed Sullivan or Soul Train but I remember them on the radio. "ABC," "Dancing Machine," and "Never Can Say Goodbye," man, that kid could sing.

The first MJ album I bought was "Off the Wall" which was followed by "Thriller." Everything on those albums was perfect. I think my favorite tune off "Thriller" remains "Human Nature." It's a beautiful ballad.

I know Michael's life took a strange turn along the way with all the controversies and shit but, for me, I will always, ALWAYS, remember him as a musical genius who brought joy to my life and who made me smile.

Michael, you will be missed.

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