Michael Jackson: The Daddy's Final Thoughts

"I was a veteran, before I was a teenager."
--Michael Jackson

Listen up. Before Michael Jackson is laid to rest, before the casket is closed and let down into a six-foot hole, The Daddy wants to say a few things about parenting and say goodbye.

Much has been said about how cute Michael was as a child; but how, as a young adult, he seemed to regress into little more than a child, reveling in playing with kids in early adolescence, petting giraffes and snakes; how he sliced his nose and other parts of his face and whitened up his body out of self-hatred. But little, or not enough, has been said of the parenting he received that made him feel even more inferior than white society conditions African Americans to feel in the first place-- parenting that made him feel his nose was too big, his skin too black, his temperament too soft (You know: Boys gotta grow up to be tough!), too sensitive.

The Daddy is thinking that, when it comes to parenting, most parents know the drill: make children feel safe, loved, and special. This is part of the process of being a parent. But mock children, call them negative names and you'll destroy their confidence and make them feel too insecure, too vulnerable to interact positively with their own peers and mature.

This is what the Jackson parents did to Michael. They made him feel ugly and stupid as they honed and parlayed his amazing singing and dancing talent as the lead Jackson Five into a fat paycheck.They may have intended to parent with tough love: to make him a solid, professional performer. Father Joe Jackson may have intended to "toughen him up" and make him a man. Well, they may helped him to become the consumate performer, but they also set him up to become and remain a permanent child, a state where he is loved by children and teenagers but ridiculed by many adults, including the media, that is, until they saw in his death an opportunity to exploit him again to increase tv ratings.

The Daddy's heart is saddened by Michael's death. But more than that, he is chilled that his parents could insult his intelligence by entertaining the illusion that they were good parents to Michael and now seek to parent Michael's children. Diana Ross, take the children please.

Dear Michael: The Daddy knows that, by now, you're sick of a hypocritical corporate media's exploitation of your death, but you'll be safe and protected in your new home soon. There, neither the media or your father will be able to hurt you again.