"There must be a positive and negative in
everything in the universe in order to complete
a circuit or circle, without which there would
no activity, no motion." --John McDonald
Listen up. Last time we talked about how the mind works during a crisis: how it goes from denial, confusion, anger, grudging acceptance. Today, the daddy is feeling what happens after we come to slowly accept our fate. Unfortunately, many of us fall into a period of feeling sorry for ourselves, saying "Bad things always happen to me." If we continue to think this way, we may lapse into a prolonged funk, a period of thinking and feeling negative about ones yourself and life in general. That's a depression.
Let's say you find out you have cancer. After going through the normal mental process of denial, confusion, anger, and grudging acceptance, you may continue to think negative; and, if you aren't careful, you will think that everything is bad and you're going to die next week.
Of course, hidden in this negative thinking are some positive facts:
1. First, getting cancer is not a metaphor for death. We're living in a time when much research has already been done on cancer, and the medical profession has learned quite a bit about how to deal with this disease;
2. Far from immediate death, cancer can now be treated by a number of therapies which were not available only a few years ago, therapies that can allow you or your family member to live much longer.
3. In addition, there are alternative therapies from acupuncture to Chinese herbs dating back thousands of years that can work with western therapies and help you live longer and more comfortably with cancer.
4. Unlike times in the past, you won't necessarily have to travel great distances in great pain to get help. Speedy cars, paved roads and increased medical assistance now makes it easier to get medical help in a timely manner.
5. You are not going through this alone. Besides a knowledgeable, competent medical staff with modern equipment, you also have family members, and even other cancer patients to support you.
Due to your emotional state, you may be unable to see that your cancer can lead you to travel new roads that will help you to not only live with cancer but to live life more fully. However, the fact that you may not may be due to a combination of the stage of your mind in its process of adjustment and to your lack of knowledge about the disease, especially the research that makes it possible for you to live with the disease.
Check this. The daddy had the pleasure of seeing the great blues guitarist Albert Collins (who taught Jimi Hendrix a thing or two about feedback) several times before he died of cancer a few years ago. In this last show the daddy saw, Collins played a slow blues ballad at the end of the set; and just before the end of the song, just before he tore it up on his Fender Telecaster, he had the band drop the low. And as the drums, bass and the rhythm guitar played ever so softly, this is what he said:
But I want you to know one thing.
Though the night may be dark and long,
Daylight will find us with our head up,
Shoulders back, Walking tall,
Living strong, moving on."
Once your mind gets to the point where it can see the positives as well as the negatives, the good as well as the bad, you will be on your way to living "strong," living life to the fullest-- moving on to an even better you.