TALK TO THE DADDY

Hello. Come on in. The daddy writes about current events, literature, music and, once in a while, drops something on you from back in the day to make you pause and ponder, stop and stare, and begin to wonder. Who knows? You may start to pace the floor, shake your head from side to side, then fall down on bended knees in a praying position and cry, "Lawd, have mercy! What is this world coming to?" Check yourself! But this blog is NOT about the daddy. It's about you: your boos, your fam, your hood, your country...our hopes and dreams of a better tomorrow. So let's make a pact: the daddy will put it on the track if you'll chase it down and hit him back. Together, we can definitely take it to another level. Shall we?"

Saturday, November 22, 2008

"Wendy and Lucy," Michelle's new movie, rare grief on screen

Today, the daddy is feeling Michelle Williams and the movie "Wendy and Lucy," which is slated to come out soon.

You know Micelle's story. She's the attractive, talented, and lady who grew in a home that taught her to be so. She's the young but bold lady who left home at 17 to start an acting career and, during that same year, landed a full-time, sexsy role as Jen Lindley on "Dawson's Creek.

When the show ended, she went with small independent films:"Imaginary Heroes," "Land of Plenty," and "The Station Agent." But these independent film were not as "Anti-Dawson Creek" as some film reviewers thought. At least not to Williams. Why? Because, like Dawson Creek," they were meaningful:

"When I was on 'Dawson's Creek,' I wanted to make work that meant something to people, serious work that made people less alone in the world...And I was thinking about that this morning in the shower—'DawsJen Lindley on "Dawson's Creek...meant something to people." She said later that she got involved with the independent films for the same reasons: they were serious films that mean something to people.

But what makes "Wendy and Lucy" so fascinating to the daddy is the grief aspect that's inevitable tied to the movie. You see, Williams made this film 2007, just a few months after she broke up with Ledger. That this break-up was still huring, that this grieving process was still there active is undeniable. And Williams said as much in the insightful interview with Ramin Satoodeh , scheduled to come out in Newsweek's December 1 ,2008 Magazine:

Satoodeh: "Williams is jovial and chatty, until the conversation turns to Heath. You can see it's still difficult for her to talk about him, and she hasn't done so publicly until now. The first time Ledger's name comes up, she bursts into tears. When she's asked about how she's been doing in the past year, she's silent for a very long time.

Williams: "I guess it's always changing...What else can I say? I just wake up each day in a slightly different place—grief is like a moving river, so that's what I mean by 'it's always changing'... "It's a strange thing to say—because I'm at heart an optimistic person, but I would say in some ways it just gets worse. It's just that the more time that passes, the more you miss someone. In some ways it gets worse."


Want the full story? Go to Newsweek. But, first, the daddy wants to ask you something:

Have you ever had grief that wouldn't let you control it, that didn't move in a smooth transition to clarity and resolution but ebbed and flowed in its own direction, that felt bettet and better, but in its own time, and in its own place?

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good one, daddy. She's the best to come out of the young crop of actors, including 90210, Kind of an Elizabeth Taylor growing up without all the husbands and the drugs.

Anonymous said...

What makes her so attractive? Because she white? I don't think she acts that well anyway?

JB said...

The anonymous asks to many questions? The anonymous needs to be shot?

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MacDaddy said...

anon1: I agree about her being the actor to come out of that group. There still seems to be some concern about drug-taking. But that was ledger part. These were pharmaceutic drugs nonetheless. He took a lot of them; and they found a lot of them in his system when he died. I haven't found any credible research that suggest Michelle was messed up on drugs, illigitemate or pharmaceutical. But it makes you wonder if drugs weren't somehow connected to her leaving him. Time will tell.

anon2: I think I know who you are, so you might as well sign in using your name, sister.

I know something else. You're the who doesn't like me doing political posts: on McCain, Obam, Clintons et.al. You're the one who doesn't like me posting poems about those wild, people poets like Wanda Coleman, Nikki Giovanni, Walt Whitman and so on.

You also don't like those blues musicians you haven't heard of say something flippant like, "Never him."

Here are some options I see for you. I see you:
1. Reading about poets like Coleman, Whitman or Robert Service and writing to let me know what you think of them.
2. I see you reading about these bluesmen like Hound Dog Taylor and Lurrie Bell, Little Walter and music producers like Jesse Stone and Norman Whitfield on your own and writing to hip the Daddy to a the daddy and his readers to a thing or two.
3. If you don't care about these folks, who are actually a part of your history (Like I said, I know who you are), you can go to other blogs that write about other forms of music and poetry and have little to do with politics. If you like, I'd be glad to assist you in
finding them. Just e-mail over at culturaldynamics@msn. com and I'll send you a list of blogs.
4. Join a poetry class. Of course, I hope it will be a class that will include poets of all types: Not only the old poets from Europe like Hopkins but the older poets who spoke the excite of the new land like Walt Whitman and Robert Service. And the great poets who talked about the pain of segregation and degradation like Langston Hughes, Laurence Dunbar and James Weldon Johnson. I hope you read some of the feminist poets like Adrienne Rich and Audre Lorde. I supposed i'm partial to Lorde because she, like myself, was a social activist. But that's up to you. Here's the thing: I'm taking the time with you, because I dont' want you coming to my blog only to write snippets of criticism. It's unfair to me and my readers. If you got something to say, sign up with your real name and say how you feel. And take time to give some examples or evidence.

Please note: I didn't say I want to censor you or I want you go to another blog. I'm saying I want you to come to blog and say clearly what you mean.

Say what you really feel and put some reasoning behind it, some meat on them bones, as they day down in Atlanta, Georgia, my hometown. If you don't like blues, say why. If you don't like Wanda Coleman, say why. In other words, give us reasons for statements.

I hope this is clear.

MacDaddy said...

Fireman: Welcome. I got you linked from hour first blog. You can link me by adding daddyBstrong.blogspot on your blogroll.

MountainLaurel said...

To answer your question: Yes. And with every grief I've had since the first one at 15.

Kellybelle said...

Mmm...that's a good one. Grief serves a purpose. It tells you to slow down and acknowledge the hole in your life. It challenges you to stare into the emptiness and live with it--don't fill it up with food, sex, drugs. Cry. Holler. Scream. Until the heart heals itself.

rainywalker said...

Yes, daddyBstrong, it's a process that stagnates forever, moves on slowly, but never goes completely away. It remains in your subconscious and comes to you in a dream, a scent, a book, a movie or someone you think you see in a crowd. I still look for people in crowds.

Vigilante said...

Have I ever had grief that wouldn't let you control it, that didn't move in a smooth transition to clarity and resolution but ebbed and flowed in its own direction, that felt better and better, but in its own time, and in its own place?

Not exactly. I am feeling the loss of John F. Kennedy, 45 years ago today. It has never better and better. It is still a large, cold stone in my gut.

Somebodies Friend said...

Have I ever had grief that wouldn't let you control it, that didn't move in a smooth transition to clarity and resolution but ebbed and flowed in its own direction, that felt better and better, but in its own time, and in its own place?

You know I have McDaddy, I split with the gal around june 1st of this year, and at the same time I had some other very hard to handle realizations, or another way to put it would be 'I found out about a betrayal that almost killed me.'

It has been a very hard year, but at the same time I am a changed man.

Don't they say 'That what doesn't kill us makes us stronger!' If nobody has said it before, I'm saying it now, because my grief has definately made me a whole lot stronger.

Now when I think back on the pain, it is different, the pain is still there, and the incident still took place, but I have accepted what happened.

There are a few reasons for my acceptance,

1. There is nothing I can do about what happened.
2. Holding the pain and resentment in my heart doesn't hurt anyone but me.
3. If I don't heal now, then when?
4. I can still 'feel' the pain if the incident crosses my mind, but I don't need to have it debilitate me.
5. It never really will completely go away, like rainwalker mentioned, but the key is to move on, and forgive.

Anonymous said...

somebodies friend...you put it so well. I think we can all relate. Your strength is growing each day. Maybe some of it due to your willingness to open up and share your grief with others. Bless you.

Somebodies Friend said...

I don't mind sharing my pain with my friends out here in blogland, I know many of these folks have dealt with very real pain of their own.

My sharing with anyone face to face must be kept very limited, I talked briefly last night about some of the things that happened last summer with an aquaintance, and I got nothing but the usual 'You sure were a mess this last summer, you were out of your mind, you were delusional, why do you even think so and so would do something like that, that's outragous.'

I know for a fact he wasn't involved, because my 'friends' told him about me in my presence. So obviously, if he didn't know about this certain problem I was having, there is no possible way he was involved, God bless him for that.

But at the same time, he continued to hang with the usual suspects all summer, and I'm sure, listened to them talk about how delusional I was, when all he was hearing is the propaganda being spewed by 'the other side.'

I guess I am a little off topic here replying to anonynous, but maybe you get the point.

The point is I was betrayed, I am over it, and the perpatraters act like there was no betrayal and I am crazy, that is pretty much it in a nutshell.

It is what it is, if they want to live in the land of denial, I guess it is their perogative.

I guess if I did what they did I would probably be living there myself, although I can't imagine doing what they did to my worst enemy.

MacDaddy said...

Sombebody: You got the right attitude: You were betrayed, but you're being a better man by forgiving them and working on forgiving yourself. To me, that was the hardest part.

Continue to talk to someone close to you, someone you can trust. Continue to get help from professionals like a counselor or therapist. Continue to talk to your minister. Continue to look up for the sun. It shines for all of us. Meanwhile, in the very short future, I'm going to do a post of forgiveness just for you, Somebody. I hope it will have meaning for someone else too. Here something else. I'm going to post a photo of a sun peeking through the clad today. That some represents Barack Obama's America and all those who wish to see the warmth of a new day. Hang in there, buddy.

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

Interesting final question, Mac, along with the comments by Somebodies Friend (when you gonna open your blog for us?)

About grief: I've never been physically tortured, but a really bad emotional loss sure feels like torture, except that goes on and on and on until it's spent, which may be never.

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

Hey Daddy,

This is interesting....your question about grief has made me think a lot.

As a minister, I can tell you that my colleagues and I need to spend more time teaching how to grieve. We expect that people WILL KNOW how to grieve and so few actually understand grief.

It can be a complicated emotion to analyze.

People try to contain grief and fight grief but that only makes grief become toxic. It really is not a toxic emotion at all. Grief is a salvific emotion actually.

My mother was killed when I was a girl and I have moved through all stages of grieving. I think that the hardest stage is...just giving the dead person permission to be gone from this life rather than refusing to accept that person has gone.

We have to emotionally move from "I can't go on without you" to "I must go on without you". This stage is so terribly hard to push through.

Martyring the dead person is very dysfunctional...we must remember them as they TRULY were...the good and the bad...and not turn them into someone they really never were.

I hope I haven't rambled...

Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!
Lisa

P.S. As for your response to the Anonymous 11:43PM commenter, sometimes people want attention and they resort to seeking negative attention just to have attention.

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

P.S.
I love you. {hugs}

MacDaddy said...

Lov u too,sis. You do work no one else does. Folks are scared of you--scared you musings may hit too close to home. Blessings.